Need You Now
by Alice C. Ravenwood
Summary: Shuichi and Yuki have their worst fight yet, and Yuki may lose Shuichi forever. Yuki will have to come to terms with his feelings for his lover, but is he too late? An accident, a coma, a last kiss? Rated T for language use. Enjoy!
1. Never Go to Bed Angry

"Why do you have to be such a bastard? Shuichi yelled. He was so angry he threw his coffee mug across the room. It shattered into dozens of pieces, littering the floor with porcelain and half a cup's worth of spiced chai tea.

"You missed," was all Yuki said in his normal, flat monotone, balancing a cigarette in his mouth. He didn't even look from his laptop. He just kept typing the last email hammering out the release of his new story.

"Of course I missed!" Shuichi shouted again, waving his arms randomly in frustration. "I don't want to hit you! I want you to fucking pay attention to me!" He turned Yuki's spinney chair around. Now, they were face to face, Shuichi lowering himself to Yuki's eye level. Their noses touched.

Then their lips.

Shuichi pulled back quickly; tears were in his eyes. "Eiri, I love you. But I don't know if you love me. Hell, I don't get anything from you. I don't know how you feel about anything. I need you and I love you, buts it's not enough anymore."

Shuichi picked up some random item from the table and threw it to the ground. He pulled on his jacket, not looking in Yuki's direction, because if he did, he wouldn't be able to do what he was doing.

The front door to the apartment slammed, louder than it needed to be.

Yuki pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out in the ashtray. He eyed the front door for less than a minute, then went back to his new story. The first story he'd ever written about two men in love.

* * *

><p>Shuichi sat on the roof of the apartment building. He kicked and threw various debris that was already on the roof, taking out his built up anger and frustration out on air.<p>

After a stray rock broke a window, he lost his balance and fell to the ground. Shuichi couldn't help it; he had to cry. He had to let everything out. _Such a jackass._ He thought. _But my jackass._

Shuichi cried for another minute or so. Then it seemed as though he had run out of tears, because he couldn't cry anymore. "That's a first," Shuichi said to himself, wiping the last few strays from the sides of his face.

He was thirsty now; all that crying left him dehydrated. Shuichi couldn't go back to the apartment; not yet. He wasn't ready.

Shuichi found himself walking down the street, where to? Who knows. A bar? He could get a drink there. Maybe, he was just walking to clear his head. It was so crowded as his insides waged a war in his mind.

_It's time to leave that son-of-a-bitch._

_No, I can't leave my Eiri. Not ever._

_When has he ever returned my love? When does he ever show affection? I thought we had fixed all this in New York? But he's still unable to give anything back._

_But that's enough. Just being with him is enough. Isn't it?_

_Not anymore. It can't be. I have needs too. And not just physical ones either. I need someone to be there for me emotionally. He can't even just suck it up and pretend. I'm not just a shag toy! I'm a living person with feelings and emotions! But precious Eiri Yuki doesn't understand any of that._

_Stop it! Stop right now! Don't EVER think about Eiri like that again! Are you listening Shuichi? Don't EVER think about him like that again._ If this conversation had taken place out loud, that last part would have been whispered.

As if his brain had suddenly been turned back on again, Shuichi was suddenly aware of his surroundings. He recognized the buildings and stores; he was heading back to the apartment.

But if he had been paying more attention, then he wouldn't have wandered into the middle of the street and he would have heard the horn. He turned too slowly and all he saw was bright lights, then darkness.

**AN- This one was written for my sister, because I couldn't get her to read any of my stories, so I wrote one for her favorite ANime with her favorite couple. Take that Pey! Anyway, I have b****een thinking about this one for awhile. Hope you guys like it! Oh, throughut the story I use Yuki and Eiri interchangeably, thee's a literary reason behind it, just preparing you guys. Thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**PS- Check out some of my other stories!**


	2. A Part of Me Might Die

**AN- Usually, I put these things at the end, but I had to put this one first today. Thanks everyone, all my reviewers, you guys are awesome and I took everything only helped the story get better in my opinion. Well, what do you guys think?**

Yuki looked at the clock, then back at the door. It was almost 2 in the morning, where is he? He had already finished the last cigarette from the pack. Breaking his promise, he opened a new one and lit it.

He couldn't even make a call. Dumb ass left his phone and his wallet. How was he even going to pay for anything if he got hungry? Must've gone to Hiro's place.

Only one minute, and already his cigarette was down to the butt.

Yuki was tired but he couldn't sleep, so he turned on the TV. Maybe there are new kitchen knives that are so sharp, they can cut through cement, and everyone knows it is impossible to live without kitchen knives.

Commercials.

Just wanting to fill the silence, he left it on. Funny how much noise that one, little pipsqueak can make all by himself. And then how empty a room is when he leaves.

The chai and the cup fragments were still there.

He didn't want to sleep, but Yuki found himself drifting. That is until the commercials ended and the news program returned.

"We continue our coverage of the horrible news unfolding. It has been confirmed that the unidentified, young man with pink hair that was in a terrible auto accident without any means of identification has now been recognized. Shuichi Shindou, lead singer of the popular band Bad Luck, was rushed to West Cedar Hospital earlier this evening when he was hit by a large truck delivering the new long-awaited pineapple flavored pocky.

"The driver claims that Mr. Shindou just walked into the street and came out of nowhere. He has been tested and there are no signs of alcohol use, but police have taken him in for questioning. Reports say that fans from around the country and worldwide have started sending wishes and gifts of love and health and even now, there are dozens of admirers stand outside the hospital holding a makeshift candle vidual and more just keep coming.

"One of the fans to come is none other than Ryuichi Sakuma of Nittle Grasper. He has lit a candle, then entered the hospital with a stuffed rabbit. It is nice to know that Mr. Sakuma deeply cares about his brother in music.

"The hospital has not released an official statement, but insiders say that Shuichi Shindou's chances are not looking good."

Yuki picked up the phone and started to press buttons, then he stopped. Who was he going to call? Hiro? He didn't have his number, but Shuichi did leave his phone and Hiro's number had to be in it right?

Luckily, Shuichi didn't lock his phone. Yuki scrolled until the name "Hiro" was highlighted; Yuki pressed 'send'.

**Ring.**

**Ring. **_Pick up your goddamn phone!_

**RING!**

_Hi, this is Hiroshi Nakano. Sorry but I can't answer my phone right now. Please leave a message and I-_ The message wasn't over.

Yuki didn't know who else to call. Hiro wasn't picking up. He didn't even know the name of the other guy in Shuichi's band. He had no choice because he didn't know who else to call.

"Hello," the voice was groggy, obviously its owner had been asleep.

Yuki hung up. He just couldn't talk to anyone. No one who could understand.

He tried but he couldn't drown out the reporter. He wanted to reach into the radio to make her shut up.

He kept closing his eyes tightly, then opening them, as if he were expecting them to magically make this a bad nightmare.

But it didn't work. He kept hearing her news report ringing in his ears:

"There still is no official word on Shuichi Shindou's condition. Though it has not been confirmed, there has been an inside tip that it is not looking good for Mr. Shindou. We've been talking to some of these heartbroken fans who have come from all around. One young lady has said that Shindou's voice and beautiful lyrics are what helped her get through the death of her older brother who also in a car accident.

Another young man said to us that Shindou's relationship with popular romance novelist Eiri Yuki is so inspiring and that it helped give him the courage he needed to tell his family about his sexuality. There has not been a sighting of Mr. Yuki. Some suggest he is already in the hospital and like all of us, waiting to here word about Shuichi Shindou."

Yuki finally turned off the radio and drove in silence. He sped down the streets in speeds that were HIGHLY illegal.

He couldn't get away from it. It was all anyone was talking about; the TV, the radio. A major, beloved singer is now lying on a hospital bed, possibly dying. It was media oil well.

Yuki drove and drove. But where? The hospital? He couldn't. Not yet. He just kept driving; every once and a while he'd make a turn and drive in the other direction for a minute, and then he'd turn in another direction. Without meaning to, he came to the one place where he could be safe.

Up the stairs he ran, faster, until he was too tired to knock on the door. Somehow he managed to make some kind of noise so that the owners knew he was there.

The voice from the telephone answered the door.

"Eiri." Mika, his sister, was holding her robe together with her hands. She opened the door wide enough for her brother to enter. Her husband, Touma, was dressed in his robe. He was watching the news report.

"We heard."


	3. All Alone

"Look sir, unless you're family, we can't give you any information," the nurse at the front desk said. She had a face that looked like she had sucked a lemon. Well, you would be angry too if you were working at 3 in the morning and having countless people try to get information from you about the celebrity for two hours nonstop. "You're just going to have to wait until you read about it in the magazines like everybody else."

"I'm not everybody else." _Click._

"Why didn't you say so," the woman said with high pitched laugh that poorly masked her fear. You would be too if a scary man was suddenly holding a gun to your face. "Let me see what I can find."

The woman began typing into the computer rapidly, praying to whoever was listening that the crazy American wouldn't use his gun.

"Okay, here we go," she said after thirty or so seconds in the same high tone that easily gave away her fear. "He's still in surgery sir, I have no idea what's going on."

"Are you sure?" the blonde haired man asked as he cocked his piece.

"Look!" She sounded frantic as she turned her computer screen so that the man could see. She pointed at Shuichi's name so that he could see. "It only says, 'in surgery-progress-unknown'. If you put that thing away, I promise I will let you know the moment this changes." She started to breathe heavily.

The man with the gun thought about it for a minute. Then he smiled and put the gun in its holster, as if it were no big deal to have it. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small card. "When that happens you yell my name. I'll be right over there, watching you." He pointed over at the waiting room where other people sat with magazines all looking worried.

The woman went as white as a sheet. She simply nodded and took the card. She turned it over and the only thing on it was a letter. She stumbled in her speech, "Um, it's, it's ju-just a letter. K." She looked up.

"You bet it is."

* * *

><p>"Um, Mister K?" The nurse nervously called out. The American was at her side so fast, she yelped a little. "Uh, he's out of surgery and the head surgeon is coming out now."<p>

"What's his name?" He pulled out his gun for good measure.

"Doctor Inurai," She said quickly. "He'll be here in just a minute."

K held his gun in her face a little longer. She looked around at the people in the room, wondering why they weren't doing anything. There was a gun in the hospital. After a few more seconds, he smiled with his eyes shut tightly. K pulled back his gun over his shoulder. "Thanks."

"Anytime," the nurse nodded.

"Hello Doctor Inurai," a stray voice said.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Shindou has lost a lot of blood," the doctor said with a gun to his head. "Now, we were able to repair most of the damage. But…"<p>

"But?" K asked as he cocked the trigger with his thumb.

The doctor took in a breath, afraid K would actually use the gun if he gave the wrong answer to his question. I wouldn't doubt it. "Mr. Shindou is alive, but he is in a coma and his condition is worsening. We can not wake him from it."

"I think you'll find that given the proper push, Shuichi Shindou will make a complete recovery." He cocked his gun and pointed it down the corridor.

"No!" Doctor Inurai raised his hands and put them on the gun. K raised his eyebrow; no one had ever touched his piece before.

The doctor looked scared out of his mind, but he held his ground. "I- You can not bring a- uh- gun into, into, into that room. You- I will"

K put his gun back in its holster. "Just bring me to Shuichi's room."

* * *

><p>It was just past six in the morning but Shuichi had spent over seven hours in surgery, and he looked it. His skin was a sickly pale grayish color, except some dark blotches randomly scattered across his body; blood stains. Whoever washed them didn't do that good of a job. There was dried crusted blood around his nostrils. There were tubes and needles sticking out of his skin.<p>

In contrast to his skin, his eyelids and under his eyes were dark, like he had been punched and they were bruised. His mouth was slightly open, and there were several small patches in his hair, small tufts had fallen out.

"Oh Shindou," K said out loud. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

The door burst open and on the other side was a friend, but he was sad. He was disheveled. His long, red hair was an uncombed rat's nest. There were dark circles under his eyes and his teeth were yellow. He was wearing the stained, rumpled clothes from last night and his shoes were untied.

"Oh Shuichi." Hiro walked closer to be bedside to his best friend for years. "What did you do, you idiot?" He didn't mean it; he was just trying not to cry.

**AN- I just had to put a K scene in there. Couldn't resist. It's heating up. Hope you like it! If you do, please review! =] Until next time readers!**


	4. It Can All Come Crashing Down

"Bastard! Why weren't you there!" Hiro punched Yuki in the chin, causing him to fall to the ground. Touma and Mika grabbed the red head and held he back, who kicked and punched to get free, before calming down.

"Eiri, are you okay?" Touma asked, not letting go of Hiro, fearing he'd attack Yuki again.

Hands on the ground, Yuki wiped his mouth and started to realign jaw before turning his back to the guy who punched him. He didn't say anything, Yuki just stared at him intensely.

Hands held behind his back, Hiro calmly asked, "Hey asshole! Why weren't you there? You're supposed to be his lover. That means you're supposed to care for him and if he gets hit by a car, you fucking go see him when he's in the bloody hospital."

Yuki stood up but didn't say anything he turned around and walked away. Hiro continued, almost shouted, "Did you know he's in a coma? The doctors say his condition is worsening. He actually could die you know?" Yuki stopped walking, but he didn't turn around.

Hiro broke free of Touma and Mika's grasp, but he didn't rush toward Yuki. He just stood rubbing the spots that had been held tightly. "You just don't give a fuck do you? Someone good like Shuichi deserves someone who loves him just as much. But unfortunately, he loves YOU. Someone who can't be there for him, other than a shag every once and a while."

He walked out, rubbing his wrists. Hiro slammed the door on his way out. Touma and Mika had their eyes on the door and turned back to Eiri. Good thing he had his back to them or they would see him cry.

* * *

><p>"It is now one in the afternoon, over twelve hours since we started covering the terrible tragedy of the traffic accident involving Shuichi Shindou. The official statement released from the hospital is that Mr. Shindou, lead singer of Bad Luck, is in a coma. Hundreds of fans and well-wishers gathered here at West Ceder Hospital.<p>

"As you can see at this part of the hospital's entrance, they have erected a memorial in honor of Mr. Shindou. There are flowers, stuffed animals, pictures, cards and other assorted items. There are thousands of candles lit and fans have been singing songs by Bad Luck all night. They have just started singing _Glaring Dream_. Rumors have been circulating that Mr. Shindou's condition is worsening. There is a fear that he may not make to tomorrow.

"Many people close to Mr. Shindou have visited including his bandmate, Hiroshi Nakano, guitarist of Bad Luck, left West Ceder only an hour ago, visibly upset. Lead singer of band Nittle Grasper, Ryuichi Sakuma has also been to see Mr. Shindou and he too was depressed. He had this to say,

'My friend Shuichi's sick!' before running off.

"There is no word on how Shuichi Shindou's lover, Eiri Yuki is taking this news. And there still hasn't been a sighting of Mr. Yuki."

* * *

><p>Yuki was sitting in the parking lot of the hospital farthest away from the cameras and admirers. He was listening to the report on the car radio as he watched the hundreds of people with candles singing <em>Glaring Dream<em>. He wore a cool, expressionless face. But not for the reason you think.

* * *

><p>He looked like a mummified version of himself; he was pale, his skin was almost translucent. His cheeks were sallow and you could almost count the bones underneath his skin. The doctor's said he had lost a lot of blood; he'd also lost some weight because of the extensive surgery. His eyes were so dark, he looked like a raccoon.<p>

Eiri thought he looked like he had died in that accident.

"Goddamn it." He left the room, but then reentered. He stood at the edge of Shuichi's bed, placing his hands on the baseboard. There were no sounds, save the beeps from the heart monitor and drips from the IV.

"Hey."

There was no movement from Shuichi. Eiri walked away from the bed to the window. He lit a cigarette, even though he knew he wasn't allowed to. "You know you've got the whole country crying over you. Half the world too." He smiled at that, a broken one.

Eiri paced around the room, taking drags of his cigarette. "They're out there singing that terrible song you wrote." He stopped, maybe because he realized he was talking to himself. Somehow, maybe it was in his mind, the beeping from the monitors was slowing down.

"What the fuck am I doing here?" He threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. He turned toward the window, hands behind his head. "I'm sick of your shit!" he shouted.

Eiri turned around and looked at Shuichi for the first time. In a shaky voice, he said, "That's not true. I'm not sick of you. Sometimes I'd like to wring your neck, but I could never do it."

He sat next to Shuichi's bed with a pink rabbit with a red bow on it, and Eiri held his hand. It was dry. "The last time we talk- fought, you said that you needed me. That's not true. You don't need me, because- I need you, more than you'll ever need me. You make me so much better than I ever thought I ever could be. For too long I was in this, I don't know, this void. I built this wall, and every year it just bigger and stronger and harder to tear down.

"Then, you just fell out of the sky and came into my world of bitterness and anger with gullibility and innocence and just turned it all upside down and introduced so much chaos into everything. It was just this complete shock of madness. Almost too much, but, if you leave my world, it will always be closed off. And I'm always going be angry and closed off from everything and going to end up hating it all. And I'll be fucked if I go back to that."

The beeps echoed in his head and mocked him, then the rhythm changed. Shuichi's finger moved. Eiri jumped up as if he'd been tasered.

"HELP!" He shouted as he opened the door. "SOMEBODY HELP!"

An army of nurses and a doctor came running into the room, one of them pulled Eiri away from Shuichi, he fought her but then stopped, he'd just get in the way of them.

The beeps weren't in rhythm anymore, they were erratic, so were the doctors. "What's going on?" Eiri shouted frantically.

"Sir, you're going to have to come with us," two nurses said as they ushered him out of the room.

"No, I can't-" he said in a high voice.

"Sir please," the nurse said in a calm voice.

Eiri broke down crying as the two nurses led him out of Shuichi's room while a dozen people shouted over his body.

"Paddles!" he heard one woman shout.

"Clear!"

Eiri's knees gave out and he fell to the ground, crying. There was a hoard of paparazzi by the nurse's station, but they were being held back by security guards. But that didn't stop them from shouting at him.

"Eiri Yuki! What's going on?"

"Mr. Yuki, how do you feel about what's going on?"

"Do you think Mr. Shindou will make it?"

Click! A gun was being cocked. "Everybody out!" a voice thundered throughout the floor. "Don't make me use this! Now GET OUT!"

Out they ran.

K put his gun back in his holster. He shook his head. "Vultures, every last one of them."

He turned to Yuki, then looked away. "I've yet to see a problem in this world that can't be solved with a gun."

Eiri, without moving, said very angry voice, "This isn't one of them."

K didn't say anything.

There was the sound of a door opening, the door to Shuichi's room. Eiri looked up, a doctor stood there with a bleak face. He covered his mouth with his hand. K ran over to him and helped the writer to his feet, giving him some dignity. Eiri took in a breath and prepared for the worst. . .

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thanks for your awesome reviews and amazing support guys! If I could, I would reach through the computer and give you all a really big hug! Let's all do that together now. Come on, virtual group hug on three. One . . . Two . . . Three! There, all done, you can get back to your knitting now. Oh, before I beg and pander for reviews, I do want to say that I do take requests (as odd as that sounds). So if you have any, let me know. I wrote this story for my sister. Love Ya Pey. Thanks for finally reading a story of mine. (The only way I could get her to read any of mine was to write about something she likes so . . . TTFN. (It's not really goodbye ;)<br>**


	5. Epilouge

_Six Weeks Later_

Eiri Yuki stood up and left the table with a few copies of his newest book; _In Somebody's Company_. There was a large poster of the book's cover behind him; two men, in an embrace. Excited fans left with their brand new copies waiting to have them signed by the author.

* * *

><p>Hiro Nakano sat in his apartment tuning his guitar. He had taken a break from music; hadn't played in while. Hiro was having some trouble with the 'A' string. For some reason, he just couldn't get it to tune right.<p>

* * *

><p>K sat in the break room, polishing his gun.<p>

* * *

><p>Ryuichi was running around in circles with his favorite companion. He pulled the pink rabbit off and said, "Come on Mr. Bear, we have to go see our best friend."<p>

* * *

><p>Shuichi was in the park; the park where he and Yuki first met. He sat on one of the benches and looked out at everything. He had just been released from the hospital, but didn't tell anyone. They all would've made a fanfare about it. Not good for someone who had recently woken from a coma.<p>

He felt weak and stiff, but he didn't care, he was alive. The last thing he remembered was a really bright light and loud sound, then waking up in a hospital three weeks later.

But it wasn't blackness. Throughout that period, he had dreamed. Of friends and family, of lovers. Well, lover. He dreamed of Eiri saying things he only heard him say in his dreams. It made him sad that he only said those things to him in his imagination.

There was a rustle in the bushes that caught his attention; a pink rabbit had his head sticking out. Shuichi sighed, "Hi Ryuichi."

"SHUICHI!" Ryuichi jumped out of the bushes and tackled his pink haired friend; it knocked the wind out of him as they lay on the ground.

"You're alive!" Ryuichi said with a smile so huge it made him close his eyes.

"For now," Shuichi spoke breathlessly.

"Oh," Ryuichi helped his friend up. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Shuichi nodded as he tried to regain his breath. He sat down because it put too much pressure on his body. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Because the park is a special place." He pulled his rabbit back up on his shoulder and smiled with his eyes closed again. "Thanks for giving Mr. Bear back."

Shuichi smiled. "He belongs with you." The two of them sat there for a few minutes not saying anything. It was the quietest the two of them had ever been.

Finally, Ryuichi spoke up. "I lied Shuichi." He looked at his idol. "Someone told me that this was a special place to you and that I might find you there."

"Who?" even though he knew who.

A blonde writer walked down the path in the park.

"I'll see you later Shuichi," and Ryuichi took off happily running.

Shuichi looked away from Yuki, but he watched him in his peripherals. He was wearing a dark maroon jacket that went down to his knees, with a dark blue shirt and black pants. Why did he have to look so sexy?

Yuki sat on the other end of the bench, one leg on top of the other, but he didn't say anything. The silence lasted for five minutes. It was comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

Finally, Yuki broke the silence.

"I was supposed to pick you up later tonight."

After a pause, he said, "I know, I didn't want to." A longer pause.

"I've heard coma patients can hear."

"Maybe," Shuichi still didn't look at him. "I did see you."

"So, where do we stand?"

Shuichi stood up, but his legs gave and he fell, into Eiri's arms. Shuichi looked into his eyes.

"I thought I was going to lose you." Eiri's voice broke. "I can't. I need you Shuichi. Now." He pressed his lips gently onto Shuichi's, then broke, but Shuichi raised his hand and pushed Eiri's head closer to his and forced him to kiss him harder, with more ferocity and passion.

When they broke, they looked at each other, both of them were crying. Eiri spoke first. "You didn't answer my question."

Shuichi closed his eyes and sighed. "I think you already know the answer to it." And pulled Eiri's face closer to his and kissed him, like he would never kiss him again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- The End. What do you think will happen between them? This is the last chapter, so thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. Hugs to you all. I hope you loved reading it as much as I've loved writing it. Check some of my other stories. Bye ;)<strong>


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